


A Murderous Desire For Love

by Final_Redemption



Category: Johnny Marr - Fandom, Marrissey - Fandom, Morrissey - Fandom, The Smiths
Genre: F/M, Johnny Marr - Freeform, M/M, Marrissey, Morrissey - Freeform, Other, The Smiths - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:34:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26297233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Final_Redemption/pseuds/Final_Redemption
Summary: Morrissey declares his love to Johnny. Johnny anchors him and makes him lust for normality. What happens when his love is not returned?
Relationships: Johnny Marr/Morrissey
Kudos: 11





	A Murderous Desire For Love

Thoughts upon thoughts upon thoughts and a plethora of twisted desires he knew he could never act upon. He never used to feel this way, no, never ever. He wanted to do all he wished to, no matter how morbid or evil those very wishes were. But when a hyperbolic, messy haired guitarist turned up on his doorstep speaking at lightning speed, everything changed. Those innocent cinnamon-toned eyes that are as waltzing as crystals and as twinkly as the stars in the night-sky had made his insides ignite with benevolence. They held so much emotion and they, unbeknownst to Morrissey, were the key to unlocking so many feelings inside him that he swore he were incapable of ever feeling. Everything Morrissey ever felt or did was intense, erratic and passion filled. This included his love life, of course. He never really cared for the bonding of two hearts and two souls and what have you. But he knew when he and Johnny were pressed knee to knee, the sound of jangly mystical guitar melodies swimming in the air as he sang his heart out, that Johnny was his other piece that he had never known he was missing until they were together once more. It was such a strange feeling meeting somebody you felt as though you had already met in ten other past lives. Morrissey loved it, though. He finally had someone who could stabilise him and prevent him from caving in to the chants of a ugly beast that rested deep in the darkest crevices of his brain. Johnny was his only chance at normality. 

Furious scribbles filled the air as Morrissey continued to doodle contorted, haunting and crude drawings of dismembered bodies and eyes that conveyed shock horror. He wasn’t an artist, not at all. But this was one of the only ways he could subside the burning desire to take another person’s life. He would never - no - he had grown from all that. Johnny was his anchor and all that he ever needed to remain sane. 

The night sky bled with the blinding glaring of the stars. Morrissey looked up at them through his glasses, ignoring how the freezing cold bit his fingertips and made his ears ache. He helplessly rubbed his hands together, desperate to cause some kind of friction as a pathetic attempt to warm himself up. 

He sighed loudly to himself, chewing the inside of his cheek as he eyed the door in-front of him. 

Every-single moment of his life had lead up to this very moment. Whatever being up there had given him Johnny to cure his ill. His teeth chattered as he knocked on the door hastily. 

“ Moz, “ Johnny breathed out, his midnight black hair shining under the glow of the silver moon.

Morrissey shuffled anxiously, a feeling of terror clambering up his insides. 

“ I need to talk to you, Johnny. “

Johnny looked quizzical for a moment but eventually nodded and allowed Morrissey to step in.

The living room was dimly lit with a pumpkin-orange colour. There was a half empty glass of vodka on the table, along with a ashtray filled to the brim. Morrissey shook his head at Johnny’s bad health habits. 

“ So, what’s up? “ 

Morrissey stared on at Johnny for a moment, licking his lips and playing with his jumper’s sleeve at some attempt at quilling his mind. He wanted this to go how he always imagined it to otherwise he’d probably whither away and die. 

“ I love you, Johnny. “ Morrissey announced, his voice soft and mellow. 

Johnny scratched the back of his head, making a face as he reached for another glass of vodka. 

“ I love you too, Moz. You worry me sometimes. I hope to god this isn’t some final thing you must do before you- “

“ Johnny, please, don’t be silly. “

The other man froze in place, planting the vodka bottle back onto the table. 

“ I love you more than anything. You are my entire world, Johnny. From the day that you rescued me from a sea of loneliness and a destined spiral into insanity, I knew you were the love of my life. We are perfect for one another, you must see it! My voice and lyricism along with your phenomenal and emotive way of playing guitar goes together famously. You cannot deny how right it sounds : the idea of you and I. Please, Johnny, make me yours? “ 

Johnny blinked slowly, trembling as he gulped down the few remnants of alcohol in his shot glass. 

“‘ Morrissey, have you been drinking? “ He finally spoke up, his eyes laced with terror and drink. 

Morrissey felt himself pale as he shook involuntarily. He hadn’t anticipated... this. Morrissey didn’t understand why Johnny wasn’t enthusiastically telling him that he loved him in the same way as he did. That’s how he felt, right? Well, of course! Nobody could fake such a look in their eyes. Morrissey thought. 

“ No, I haven’t. I would appreciate if you answered my query rather than change the subject. “ He declared, his voice flatlined as he wrapped his arms around his body to try and sooth himself. 

Johnny flicked his hair out from his eyes, his mouth twitching from what Morrissey guessed to be nerves. 

“ I’m in love with Angie, Morrissey. I love you, I really do, but I can’t - I can’t... well, you know. “

Those words were the last nail in the coffin. Morrissey’s eyes shook, his lips quivered and his mind raced as a barrier that veiled the ugliest parts of his brain collapsed. 

“ Oh. “ 

“ Yes. “

The ambience of the room was nothing but a stage for all of Morrissey’s loud negative thoughts. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything. For the first time, he was at a loss for words. 

“ Moz? I’m sorry, alright? I never knew that you felt that way. I’ve heard rumours, yeah, but they don’t mean anything- “

“ Johnny, I must go now. “ He quietly interjected, a tremor causing his voice to waver. 

Johnny eyed Morrissey up and down sadly, a wistful smile dawning his face.

“ Are you going to be ok? We have practice tomorrow, you know. “ He quizzed, a unlit cigar now in-between his fingers.

Morrissey gulped loudly, trying his upmost to ignore the screams of his mind. 

“ I’ll be fine, I assure you. I’ll see you tomorrow, Johnny. “ 

Johnny went to say something but Morrissey was already up and out of his house. He sighed to himself. He never thought that there would be a day he’d hear Morrissey admit such things. He had always thought that Morrissey was far too cowardly and scared to vocalise how he truly felt. 

As he inhaled the familiar fumes of smoke, he forgot about all that had been said that night.

Her blue eyes emerged from the dark shadows like night fading to day. The maroon that painted her lips emphasised the way they upturned into a grin upon seeing Morrissey. 

“ Hello. Steven, is it? “ She asked, happily shaking the hand that Morrissey politely offered her. 

He smiled down at her, running a hand through his hair as he tried to veil the discomfort he felt when being called such a rotten name. 

“ Morrissey will suffice. “ He corrected, locking arms with the woman as he lead her through the streets of London. 

“ Oh, I see. I just thought it was a part of your act, that’s all. “ She pondered, her eyes twinkling with endearment as she stared up at Morrissey. 

“ It’s not an act. “

“ Oh. “

The hotel room was not what the woman expected. It wasn’t extravagant, it wasn’t glamourise. It was small, compressed and unclean. The walls were stained by unknown substances and dawned by torn wallpaper. She made a face to herself. 

“ Join me on the bed, please. “ He suddenly spoke up, pulling the woman out from her trance. 

“ Oh, yes, of-course. “ She tried concealing the pink colour that now radiated against her pale cheeks, allowing Morrissey to take her hand. 

He ushered her to the bed, clambering on with her. Morrissey clutched her delicate shoulders, his lips hovering over her’s teasingly. She sighed longingly, allowing Morrissey to push her forcefully down on the bed. He straddled the woman, his hands roughly interlocking with her coffee brown hair. She stared up at him, her heart shaped lips agape as she waited with baited breath. He dove down, kissing her hungrily. He was rhythmic, sliding his tongue into her mouth and causing her to moan. His elegant and slender fingers brushed along the structure of her face, tilting her head to the side as he deepened the kiss. 

“ I didn’t tell you my name, did I? “

“ Your name shall be Angie. “ He demanded. 

“ If you want, I suppose. “

He continued to douse the woman with bruising kisses. She laid there, her hands beginning to roam over Morrissey’s gangly frame. She slid her hands up his woolly jumper, fingers tapping each rib as if she were counting them. Morrissey gasped, pressing his body closer to her’s. Morrissey broke apart from the kiss, his lips now against the woman’s ear. 

“ I’m sorry for what is to come. “ He whispered, causing her hairs to stick on end. 

Morrissey wrapped his hands around the woman’s neck, holding his breath with manic anticipation. The woman’s eyes were as wide as saucers, her arms flailing helplessly as she felt the life seep out from her. The lights went out for a moment. Morrissey’s face, once illuminated, twisted into a devilish grin as his grasp tightened. His royal blue eyes flared with mania as her face now glowed with tints of purple hues. The woman’s jaw opened as if she were a lion about to roar. No sound came out. 

Morrissey felt the woman go limp underneath him. Her flailing slowed and her eyes faded to a sickly grey. 

He stared at the lifeless form in front of him. Thoughts span in his head, filling him with dread. He panted loudly, excitement and guilt causing his body to tremble.

The deep blue sky somehow looked different that following day. The piercing blue eyes that faded to silver once bereft of life. The colour of blue now haunted him. It reminded him of what he had done. 

He listened closely as he heard the train’s clattering. Morrissey closed his eyes, stepping off of the platform and allowing his body to fall upon the train tracks. 

He hoped that maybe, just maybe, he would now be forgiven for what he had done.


End file.
